Before you speak, let your words
Pass through three gates.
At the first gate, ask yourself,
‘Is it true?’
At the second ask,
‘Is it necessary?’
At the third gate ask
‘Is it kind?’
As human beings, we are all a work in progress. What would happen if a person made a resolution never to hurt the feelings of another? That person would fail.
He would fail because it is one thing to have an intention. It is something else to carry an intention out successfully. This is true in many aspects of life. It is particularly true for people going through divorce or who are in the post-divorce period.
When I sit and talk with clients, I find myself asking the question: “What part of this problem can we control?” It is a good question. Many times the answer is that we can only control what we say.
In the work I do, what is said and how it is said is very important. I’ve come to observe that careful language is necessary to live a life unburdened by conflict.